Spending My Most Fertile Years Traveling Solo in a van

Unbeknownst why to me, I have spent my twenties sailing in the Caribbean and camping in the Sahara Desert, and yet so many people’s first question to me is when or where I will settle down? Or will I stop traveling to have a family?

My lifestyle as a digital nomad has taught me that travel experience does not negate my societal expectations as a woman. While my twenties are marketed as the best years of my life, they are simultaneously expected to be spent preparing for life to serve others; dating to find a husband, saving money for my first mortgage, or to raise a child.

The issue I am facing with our society is that it sees little beyond my reproductive abilities as I approach my thirties…

Women are often told they cannot have a career, a family, and a life of travel all at once. We are pipelined into secondary positions, motherhood, and stationary lives while our male counterparts are conditioned to believe the world is their oyster.

I am not opposed to a stationary life with a family, but I wish more women knew that there were other lifestyles that are not only accessible but possible (before you “settle down” or choosing to NEVER “settle down”).

The ability to choose is something that I have learned not to take advantage of. To be a woman is to have my body, sexuality, and consent often out of my control. I have also learned that part of this control tactic is to limit women’s ability to choose by pretending like there are not many other options available. I am here to say that there is.

I don’t want my lifestyle to be seen as the antithesis of womanhood, but rather an extension of it.

I believe that my intentional decision to dedicate the most fertile years of my life to myself is one of the most beautiful things I have ever done. To choose me in a society that tells me otherwise is a radical act, one that I hope more women consider.

Some may call my lifestyle selfish; I'm rarely home for holidays, I’m never in one place for too long, and I probably see flight attendants more than my own loved ones. I have chosen and curated the life that I have, and while it is lonely at times, but it is also empowering.

If I choose to have a family someday, I have so much perspective and experience to share that will make us all better people. My life is not perfect, but I am in love with it nonetheless. And while I have traveled the world, I have also explored myself, and that has been the greatest discovery.

As I enter year 29, I feel an encroaching sense of “failure” to my biological duty and “plan”. I had always wanted to do it just like my Mother — engaged at 26, married at 27, first child at 28. Well, that ship has sailed. And the fact that less than a year ago, I thought I would be engaged on this birthday, makes it a little harder to contemplate. But alas, existential crisis thought patterns are my specialty!

 As opportunities increase for women, I want us to also release ourselves from the mental anguish that results from trying to be the perfect woman.

I wish to encourage women to transfer that energy into exploring themselves outside of the confines that patriarchy cages us in. We are more than our reproductive ability. We are more than caretakers for others.

FAQ 🤷🏻‍♀️ 🔎

*What kind of van are you living in?* 2019 Dodge Ram Promaster 2500

*How do you make money?* I’m a digital nomad and work remotely full-time through my company. → I also have a video on ways I've made money in the past here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejD0_C2u4Ic&t=69s&ab_channel=AlexMartinezTypsySoul

VAN SPECS 🚐 🚨

Ruthie The Van comes fully equipped with a full-size bed, deep stainless steel sink with a foot pump water system, propane stove/oven combo, 12 V fridge, two 100 watt solar panels with two lead-acid batteries, ventilation + a heater. You can actually rent her for your own trip here: https://www.outdoorsy.com/rv-rental/albuquerque_nm/2019_dodge_ram-1500_199725-listing

To catch more from my #solovanlife travels, stay connected on socials 📲 ♥️ 

Ways to support my journey as a solo female traveler 👇🏽✨

Alexandra Martineztravel, travel blogger, solo female travel, solo travel, feminist, vanlife, vanComment
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